So now that I am living with my father and step mom, my life changed so much! I had All these new experiences, room, clothes, school, lack of friends… Just plain new everything. It can be overwhelming, but in my mind I had this. I can do anything. I was with my dad!
I had to adjust but I didn’t realize that I needed to do that. In my young mind I was with my dad and it was going to be like it was during the summers. I would get to do so many things! I mean I did get to do those things, but it wasn’t always easy street. Especially for them.
They went from a couple’s life with no kids. They liked to enjoy their time together, which was really cool because it show me that they were stable with one another. It was a good balance for me. My dad is a very animated man especially when he is around my step mom. They really did know how to have fun!!
So the first hurdle was me actually going to school. That was a hard thing for me at first. Ok Ok like the first few months. They kids were mean to me, because I was very different from they were. These kids were for the most part well put together and very smart. I didn’t fit in from the get go, but really at this point I don’t fit in anywhere. Kids would make fun of what I wore, my hair, my shoes even my body! It was brutal while I was at school. Lucky for me I was in a good place in my mind.
Their words hurt as well as their actions but it didn’t affect me. I mean it really was child’s play compared to what I was used too. I was good with myself then. It’s not like I knew any different. I couldn’t wait to get home everyday not because they were dicks at school but because I had a purpose. I had chores. I had something to do and parents who encouraged me to do them. I still was a little turd when it came to doing them, but I did like the reward.
I would walk the dog every morning, then get ready for school. walk to school, try not to bark at the other students, walk home, walk the dog, have a snack, do my homework… I did take that last one as a suggestion more than anything. That is the one thing I feel that they struggled with the most with me. Doing homework. I think maybe that is a normal thing. Maybe?! I struggled academically that first year there.
I see now it was because of all the change and stresses that come with that. I had no real excuse of not doing my homework. A lot of the times I didn’t understand the work, and given my past with asking a parent was OUT OF THE QUESTION for me. My dad and step mom did offer their help but I also didn’t want to be shunned for being dumb either. She was a dental assistant and he was an Engineer. They knew stuff. I was more afraid of the rejection and judgement. I know that maybe they had a meeting with my teachers because eventually I was being pulled out of class for special education time. I thought it was fun, but I retained some but not a whole lot. Time was the issue.
So that summer my step mother took me to one of those tutor places. I was sooooooo scared to go but glad I did. It helped me so much the next year I didn’t need those sorts of classes and I had more confidence in asking for help, asking questions and doing my homework.Turns out I really did like school.
So I made my first friend before the school year ended. Her name was Shelby. I will never forget her. One day while at after lunch we were all out on the playground. I went to my normal place under the tree by myself. I had my baseball cards that I just gotten at the Texas Rangers game. ( Oh yes!! I did. It was a blast!! I even got to see Nolan Ryan!!) I was putting the collection into a binder and some kid started making fun of me…again.. and I barked at him. haha yes I barked. I didn’t know what else to do. So this girl named Shelby came to my defense and we were instant friends. That day I made a vow that I would be like her when new kids came to school. I did keep that promise to myself all the way through my senior year of high school. We played everyday. We spoke on the phone everyday. I even got to stay at her house!!! My first sleep over.
We did everything together. We went to Sixflags over Texas, the movies, to Janet Jackson concerts, Boyz to Men concert. She introduced me to her friends which became my friends later. It was so much fun having friends. I had a new purpose at school. I even met my first crush. His name is Chris R. Man I had it bad for this boy and he lived down the street from Shelby.
They both lived in these huge houses where the kids basically had their own wings, backyard pools, queen sized beds, their own phone lines. It was pretty cool. Life was getting pretty awesome. I had friends and I enjoyed life until…. I found my first pubic hair that is.
Six grade was hard!!! Oh my gosh! we learned about puberty early in the year and I was already growing boobs. You can imagine how I was feeling. I was not only tall but had chest nubbies! oh goodie!! NOT! I was now thinking ” Great. Just when things are going great I have to grow boobs.” I was so embarrassed. Anyway, I was soaking in the bathtub one evening because I was not allowed to go swimming because I had swimmers ear. So my step mom suggested that maybe if I take a bath it would ease the craving of wanting to be in the pool. She was so good to me. Well, while soaking I was humming a song and happening to look down and something caught my eye. I wondered what it was. It looked like a hair, so I did what normal people do and grab to throw it out of the tub. But NOOOO it was attached!!! Hmmm noo! No! NO!NO!
I quickly got up and emptied the tub wrapped my towel around myself and ran to my step mother in fear!! Luckily, she kicked my dad out of the room and I told her all the gory details. ( even though there wasn’t any bloodshed that day) I cried in arms and she started giggling. I was in shocked!!! Why is laughing? She peels me off of her and she puts her arms on my shoulders and she tells me that I am going through the change. I started bawling even harder. After some time calmed me down and I asked her NOT to tell my father. Of course she told him. He came in to tuck me in for bed and he said, so I heard that you are going through the change… That darn word! I started crying all over again. I was embarrassed. Now my dad knows!! UGH! why!!
He laughed it off and I did too… Kinda. The Change… I rolled my eyes and went to bed. It was one pubic hair and it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Good grief. Weeks passed and hair grew and I felt everyone knew at school what I was going through. I feel like I wore a marquis sign saying” I, Kristal, now have Pubic hair. I am going through ‘The Change'” in a constant loop.
One morning I was finishing getting ready for school, and I noticed that my bangs were a little too long. No problem right? Just cut them. I have done that before this wouldn’t be any different. Man, teach me for thinking that morning.
I start cutting. They aren’t coming out straight. So I cut some more. Still not straight. Next thing I know I have a razor in my hand and shaving cream in the other. HONK HONK!!! That is my ride to school!! Crap! I grab the nearest mad hatter hat I had and threw it on. I had art that morning, and it was a combined class that morning and Chris R. was there.
The art teacher asked me to remove my hat and I told her no thank you. She persisted and I politely declined her request which she accepted finally. Hats were allowed for girls but not boys. I knew my rights and that day I was going to use them to the fullest. Well Chris R. opened his mouth and said to everyone in class ” OOOOo someone got a bad haircut!” I leaped over all the students and started swinging at his direction. To which he started laughing which made me even more mad. She told me to go to the nurse and I told her I didn’t want to go. I did my work quietly in that class, then we went back to our normal classes. My teacher kept calling on me during mind math quiz. We had to give the answers to the math on the board without using paper to figure it out. I sucked at this sort of thing. I needed the paper. Not that day. I got every one those questions right. He knew then something was wrong. He made me go to the nurses office.
I sat there as my two teachers explained to the nurse that something wasn’t right and maybe I would talk to her about it. At this point I am shivering. I am so upset as she walks she grabs a thermometer and shoves it in my mouth. It beeps and it reads 95 degrees. I am dead…. yup dead inside at this day. I just want to go home and die. She takes my temp again, and its stays at 95. yup there is the phone to one of my parents. She calmly asks me what going on. I just broke down and started crying and I pulled off my hat. She said ” Okay who do I need to call?” I said my step mom. She handed me a blanket and I waited. She got all my work for that day and my bag. Next thing I see is my FATHER!!! I looked at her with the most evil look. She said that my step mom couldn’t come. Now I am mad!!!
My emotions were all over the place and of course my dad’s response is to laugh at me!! Super great day for my self-esteem! Not! ” Do I even want to know Kris?” I just shock my head at him No and rolled my eyes and walked to the truck. He took me home and wrapped me in a hot blanket and made me my favorite sandwich. I didn’t say one word to him or anyone until my step mom got home.
When she got home, she just gave me the look of “follow me,” to which I complied. She sat me at her vanity and she asked me to remove the hat. I sat there and I slowly peeled the hat off my head. It took all she had to not laugh. There I sat with a mangled , spiky, bald spot of hair. She just started laughing and then I did too. I mean it was bad…. I had a short hair cut to begin with and now I have fashioned a nice buzz cut look for bangs. She then grabbed some bandanas and they became my new fashion accessory until my hair grew out. It was much better than the crazy hats I was wearing. I told her I looked stupid with the headband. She took off the bandana and asked if my new hair cut was better. Touche. She told me that I could start a new thing at school. That didn’t help me feel better at that moment, but I did end making a bandana movement at school. All the girls were wearing bandanas in their hair.
That was my first experience with PMS, I got my first period five days after that moment!! Aren’t I lucky. I learned a lot from this moment.
PMS is a real thing. The phrase ” The Change,” scares all women and makes them cry. Fathers don’t always know how to handle young ladies when they do crazy things with their hair, Pubic hair is not fun when you don’t expect it, the boy you have a crush on is now dead to you when they make fun of your hair, and finally bandanas are a great Oopsie cover up when in need of one. I am fortunate to have had my father and step mom that day and through that moment of puberty. I don’t know how I would have gotten through it. I have not cut my hair on my own since then. #Lessonlearned
I hope you enjoyed this experience as much as I did. I was considered a woman after going through it and I am not sure I liked that at the time. Made going swimming difficult. I love y’all. Talk soon.